I am finally dying. I am letting go of all that I thought I was. Letting go of the cage which I had built for myself by choosing to define myself as this and not that… Letting go of every false ego need. Letting go…and letting Goddess.
I have stop running from the silence and instead am resting within it. Singing into it. Letting go into it. Listening into it. Feeling into it and experiencing the Mother’s love. Sacrificing myself to it. Trusting in the life/death/life cycle and waiting to see how Goddess will decide to remake me.
I have been a stubborn student. I haven’t come to Goddess in style. No graceful entry here. I have come in shame and shit. I have come with my hair tangled with twigs and my face scorched by fire. I have come with the soles of my feet split and my nails black with digging. I am streaked by my own sweat and blood and tears. My fingers are knarled into claws from my desparate clinging and grasping onto illusion.
But I am here now…and I have a bag full of well earned treasures with which I adorn myself.
And now what…well I don’t know and I’m okay not knowing. I am resting in my heart and waiting for what is unfolding to unfold. No grasping. No needing to be this or that and not that. No needing to fill the silence. Just resting, just dying, just letting go.
I shall not let myself get so far from Home again. I shall sacrifice and let go of myself every night, I shall dismember myself, eat myself back to my bare bones and spit myself back into the void, into the silence, and rest in the Great Mother’s womb until morning from where I trust she will birth me anew each day just as she needs me to be.
No Comments Yet
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
Leave a comment
