I was involved in a conversation in a womens group today about judgement. I have been exploring judgement for a long time and this is what I have come to understand.
When we judge another for being a certain way arent we really judging that same part of ourselves that we see in the other person – an aspect of ourselves that we may be disowning and denying, or an aspect that exists only in potential. All judgement then is self judgement.
How can I use this knowledge? If I look for the aspect of my self that I am judging by judging the other person within me then I can see whether I am in fact also judging myself in this way. If I am not this way but I am still judging then I can ask myself the following questions?
If I was the way this person is how would I react to my judgemental words?
How would I be treatingmyself and how would I feel if I was judging myself in this way?
How would I be kind and compassionate to myself if I was like this person?
What would I NEED from myself if I were like this person? What would I need from others?.
Does not practising that kindness and compassion with ourselves not then allow us to be that way with another and vice versa?
SO if you find yourself judging another look for the following things?
How you might be like that person and how you might be judging yourself in the same way.
And how can you use the presence of judgement to develop kindness and compassion for yourself and for others.
For the longest time I talked about my spirituality…and talked and talked lol. But I wasnt putting anything into practice. I had lots of insightful ideas and lots of information but I found it hard to motivate myself towards action. Im glad to say that has changed. Im now getting to grips with a spiritual practice I am customising for myself to suit me. This involves looking for things to be greatful for in difficult situations that would have caused me resentment and anger before.
Learning to love everything as a divine expression of God – letting God love God through me.
Reflection and journalling
These are the things I currently do and I am feeling so fulfilled with my life in many areas.
My affirmations of the moment are
“I am safe IN God”
“It’s not personal” (From the four agreements)
I am learning to let go of assumptions and expectations and feel this is aided by a sense of safety within God. Trust and faith is the key here, trusting in the bigger picture.
I have let go of my woundedness after reading Caroline Myss – Why people dont heal and how they can and that has made a big difference in my life because I no longer base my relationships or bring into them my wounds which makes for healthier relationships.
Life is good people. Cofidence is finally growing within, a confidence based on knowing who I am inside and of finding safety in God.
I am blessed
I’ve been feeling so tired lately. I could sleep all day and not bat an eyelid lol. I been feeling that this is due to my diet and lack of healthy food and not drinking water.
So I paid heed to my body and went on a shopping spree to get fruit and veg yesterday big time. I did cauliflower cheese for tea last night which was yum! Drank lots of water which was not so yum. This morning I had a fruit smoothie and half a grapefruit for breakfast and water and I have to say I am already feeling a big response in my body to the healthy food. I feel like my eyes are more awake and that my body is more alive.
Can I keep it up is the question. Before I went to sleep I asked for help with this and this morning just before I woke up properly I had an image and feeling of Jesus and him being tempted by the devil in the desert. Thinking symbolically I can use this to draw on strength to resist my own temptations whenever I do feel tempted to mess up my diet.
I am finally dying. I am letting go of all that I thought I was. Letting go of the cage which I had built for myself by choosing to define myself as this and not that… Letting go of every false ego need. Letting go…and letting Goddess.
I have stop running from the silence and instead am resting within it. Singing into it. Letting go into it. Listening into it. Feeling into it and experiencing the Mother’s love. Sacrificing myself to it. Trusting in the life/death/life cycle and waiting to see how Goddess will decide to remake me.
I have been a stubborn student. I haven’t come to Goddess in style. No graceful entry here. I have come in shame and shit. I have come with my hair tangled with twigs and my face scorched by fire. I have come with the soles of my feet split and my nails black with digging. I am streaked by my own sweat and blood and tears. My fingers are knarled into claws from my desparate clinging and grasping onto illusion.
But I am here now…and I have a bag full of well earned treasures with which I adorn myself.
And now what…well I don’t know and I’m okay not knowing. I am resting in my heart and waiting for what is unfolding to unfold. No grasping. No needing to be this or that and not that. No needing to fill the silence. Just resting, just dying, just letting go.
I shall not let myself get so far from Home again. I shall sacrifice and let go of myself every night, I shall dismember myself, eat myself back to my bare bones and spit myself back into the void, into the silence, and rest in the Great Mother’s womb until morning from where I trust she will birth me anew each day just as she needs me to be.
I recently introduced family meetings into our home. We hold them every Sunday night at 6.00 or there abouts. My husband grumbles “Oh I get enough meetings in work” but he still attends, bless him. (My crazy wife is at it again). My daughter is thriving on them. We have a talking stone that we hold to talk and we all respect the space of the talker until they release the stone.
I realised today that my inner family would benefit from having “talking space”. When I have had emotions come up today I have been treating them as messages from one of my inner children and inviting them onto my lap and allowing myself to be present with them whilst I allow full expression of the feeling, and open my ears to hear all the thoughts that come with the feeling. I wrote them in my journal. I validated the feelings and valued the thoughts that came up and allowed them to pass. I soothed my inner child and showered her with approval and love and honoured her input. I had to do some “seed sorting” to work out which information belonged in the past and which was valuable, useful information for now. I then worked out how I would apply the learning. It has proved a very interesting experience. I have been left with a powerful satisfied inner feeling of having been heard. Cradling the emotion “in my lap” and allowing it full expressing leaves me feeling as the adult without becoming overwhelmed by the “child”. C’est tres bien!
Just writing that is a little epiphany. I have had a bee in bonnet earlier this year about not being heard by others. God dang. I know now I should have asked of myself “Which part/s of me need to be heard and how am I not listening to them?”. Hindsights a wonderful thing, foresight is preferrable please (asking within).